A response to people who constantly ask me to twerk
Dance to popular music in a sexually provocative manner involving thrusting hip movements and a low, squatting stance.
Even the definition sounds vulgar. Now sure, I have quite a potty mouth, wear trousers and am sometimes out at night without a chaperon (har har) but I still maintain that I am a woman with a great many ladylike qualities. No self respecting lady however, would, in my opinion, make a conscious effort to not only learn to twerk but to then go out and do it in public.
This image summarises a lot for me. I’m not pointing fingers or attempting to cause controversy but when I hear ‘Twerk, Lauren, Twerk’ It makes me want to actually rip someones eyes out. The most upsetting thing about it is that it’s my friends that say it. My partner. People that I’m close to. And even if it’s a joke to them, it’s not a joke to me.
These people are making assumptions based on the colour of my skin. They assume that not only am I capable of ‘twerking’ but that I actually want to and that it’s no big deal. It is a big deal and no, I don’t want to. I have no desire to ‘make it clap‘ for your entertainment.
For those of you who haven’t a clue what twerking is:
Are you as uncomfortable as I am watching these girls that look about twelve in shorts that look like they were made for strippers?
Sure, in my (Jamaican) culture twerking is not uncommon. It was popular long before Miley even rocked up in her onesie to twerk for all of the world to see. Hell, in Jamaica no one would bat an eyelid if you more or less started dry humping on the dance floor. You may even win a prize for it. But to me, it’s wrong. I jiggle enough without doing it in batty riders with all of my goodies out for public consumption. Don’t these girls (and guys) realise that images and videos of them with their butt cheeks hanging out of their shorts will be on the internet for the rest of their lives? Uploaded to pornographic sites? Available for their children to access in the future and say ‘mummy/daddy, what on earth were you doing’? We laugh at our parents now for the photos of them with massive curly perms, neon eyeliner and shell suits. In a generation from now twerking is what we’ll be remembered for.
I think the entire phenomenon is wrong.
And it’s not only young people at all. The older generations are participating and cashing in on it too. This is what I found in the teen section at H&M last week.
Twerking has become another one of those trends that I hope and pray dies a quick and agonising death just like scouse brows and happy slapping.